Loss and sadness

Current Weight: 245.8lbs
Lost this week: 4lbs

Thank god I got that gain from last week corrected. All week I just kept focusing how undoing that rather epic damage, and thankfully I was able to. Now I'm just aiming to get into the 230s before Canada day weekend. I'm also feeling very determined to reach my goal lately, but it isn't for a good reason. One of my cousins has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to her liver, abdomen, and ribcage. It is absolutely catastrophic and I am really really sad for her. She has three young daughters, one of whom is just a couple months old, and all she is thinking about is the effect her cancer is going to have on them. The fact that my cousin is only 39, has lived an exceptionally healthy life, always ate right and was very active, and STILL has been hit this way makes me selfishly very scared for myself. Unlike her I did everything WRONG for twenty seven years and even though I am taking care of myself now I still worry about what damage I have done... So I am focusing hard on my health now, trying to reduce my risks as much as I can.

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Hunger: high, though it is due to stress I'd say
Body Image: pretty good
General disposition: alright, all things considered
Song of the day: Bang My Head by Lena

Closer to 200 than 300

Current Weight: 247.6lbs
Weight lost: 3lbs

As of this weigh in I am under 250lbs! I honestly can't remember the last time I have been under 250lbs, and this weigh in brings me past the 60lbs lost since joining Weight Watchers, which is a huge deal. I can't help but keep reminding myself of how far I have come and how crazy it is. I skipped last week's weigh in since I was moving and stressed and just didn't care, so this three pound loss is really two week's worth. But still, I feel like I am back on track, things are getting back under control for the first time since before the surgery.

In honour of this rather huge accomplishment I am setting a new mini goal for myself. I want to stay on track this summer so I am setting a goal of losing 25lbs over the next 4 months. Somewhat lofty goal maybe, but I am feeling good following the surgery, I'm back on track at the gym, and I am determined as hell. I really hope to be able to accomplish it.

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Hunger: Not too bad, though I have been having intense cravings lately
Body Image: pretty good!
General disposition: Excited but tired
Song of the day: The Times are a Changin' by Bob Dylan

Curse you, unicorn shortbread cookies!

Current Weight: 250.8 lbs
Lost this week: -0.2 lbs

Fairly pathetic weigh in, eh? May as well have been a stay the same week, but I guess some loss is better than no loss. I know why it wasn't a better loss, too. First, I ate what felt like a lot of salt the past two days and was/am feeling fairly bloated and as though I was retaining water. However, I feel like the lackluster loss is more to do with what I consumed on the weekend while at Easter dinner with my cousin and her husband, namely a vat of rum and a bunch of cookies. Not just normal cookies. They were delicious shortbread unicorns with cream cheese icing. I made them because I wanted to contribute something to the meal since they were nice enough to have me over, and my GOD were they delicious. I ate a lot of them (we all did), they were so irresistible. The next day I looked at the few that were left over and I knew that in my hungover state I was going to eat them all... so I threw them out. Too little too late, though. I had already eaten a herd of them the night before. ha ha

Anyway, I know why this week wasn't fantastic, but I have confidence that this coming week is going to be a lot better. I am feeling stronger, I am enjoying the gym again, and I am quite optimistic that I'll have a solid loss this week. :)

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Hunger: pretty high actually
Body Image: quite positive. :)
General disposition: stressed out, but hopefully on the upswing
Song of the day: Motherless Child by Eric Clapton

Current Weight: 251.0 lbs
Lost this week: -5.6lbs

Turns out my worry about losing the weight I gained last week was totally unfounded. Seriously, I never thought I woul dhave been able to lose it all in one hit, let alone losing extra weight on top of it. Good to see that big loss though. It is encouraging, and I am on the cusp of getting into the 240s, which will be great. Somehow being closer to 200 than 300 (ie. below 250) makes everything seem a lot better.

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Hunger: not bad at all
Body Image: pretty great actually
General disposition: good
Song of the day: Get Out Of My Dreams And Into My Car by Billy Ocean

Yup, that's what I expected (and deserve)

Current Weight: 256.3lbs
Lost this week: GAINED 3.6lbs

Yeah, I deserve this gain. I ate like a moron last weekend, and 3.6lbs as a gain is totally deserved. At least it wasn't the six and a half pound gain that it was on tuesday. I guess drinking all the water and eating way healthier paid off to some degree. That said, I went in to the weekend expecting a gain, so it isn't like I am surprised or anything. It was a consequence I was prepared for, but that doesn't make it any smarter a decision especially since I can't kill it at the gym and get that weight off quickly. No, it will likely take a couple weeks to drop that weight, which is annoying but I'll do it. I'm going to the gym again and really focusing in on my strength training. If I can build my muscle mass back up then I will hopefully get some of my metabolism back, but really the important thing is getting my diet locked down, so that is my goal - get my eating totally under control.

Also, now that I am finally able to have proper weigh ins again, my weight graph is looking strange. Having that big break when I wasn't able to weigh in created a really weird looking patch in my graph. Oh well. At least it is overall a downward slope...

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Hunger: not bad, but definitely getting hungrier these days
Body Image: blah
General disposition: Resigned yet motivated
Song of the day: One Way Or Another by Blondie

50lbs down, Surgery done

Current Weight: 258.0lbs (which brings me to 50lbs lost!)

Lost this week: -1.8lbs

So I've hit the 50lb mark. Awesome. I didn't reach my pre-surgery goal but I came close, and really crossing the 50lb mark was nice enough. Plus a bunch of people at work on wednesday commented on my weight loss, which was really nice to hear on the cusp of my surgery. 

In other news, my surgery was yesterday and went well. Arrived at the hospital at 6:30 am, but didn't go in to the operating room until 8am. We got some funny pictures beforehand to try to distract me from panic I particularly enjoy this one where Amy looks really excited and I look absolutely depressed. LOL. I actually didn't cry and hyperventilate beforehand like I have every other time. The surgery itself went well apparently. The surgeon said the damage was exactly where she thought it was and put a few plates to fuse three bones together. She said that she could see where my foot was kind of misaligned and contorted from it trying to compensate for this damage for the past two and a half years. Also, turns out there was some arthritis in my foot too. Awesome.:(

There were some problems in recovery. I was in a lot of pain when I came to and hyperventilated. They gave me morphine but apparently I don't handle morphine well. My breathing got really shallow and kept sort of stopping, which caused this alarm thing to go off and a nurse telling me to take slow deep breaths. I would, in a couple minutes my oxygen levels would come back up, the alarms would turn off, but then the minute I started falling asleep or just didn't focus on my breathing it would happen again and I would stop breathing again. The recovery that was supposed to take an hour turned in to four hours, most of which spent with a nurse sitting beside my bed to remind me to breath every couple minutes. They gave me popsicles but I kept kind of nodding off with them in my hand, almost dropping them. They didn't let me go back to where mom and amy were waiting until I didn't make the alarm go off for 10 minutes. So basically we had to wait for the morphine to wear off.

Once I finally got back with mom she told me Amy had left to get some food and pick up a few things. Mom told me about the arthritis in my foot and for some reason that was it for me and I finally cried for the first time that day. Not too much, but I have been a bit teary ever since. Anyway, we called Amy and she came back. A nurse came and gave mom my prescription for pain killers but they were total overkill so we took it but immediately decided to not get it filled. I am NOT taking Oxycontin (which is what they prescribed). It is just more than I need and I'd rather manage my pain with something less addictive. Plus, my reaction to the Morphine has made me even more wary of big league painkillers.

So after an hour and a half I was basically okay and really just wanted to leave but we hadn't been told we were allowed to even get dressed or anything. I was seriously tired so had squinty kitten eyes but everytime a nurse or someone came near amy said, 'Heads up! Look alert!" so I would open my eyes really wide to make them think I was ready to go. LOL Amy took pictures...

Mom finally just got my clothes and helped me get dressed regardless of nurse permission and then flagged down a nurse to ask when I can leave. She said even though mom and Amy had spoken to the surgery, I had to talk to her too (which I wanted to do), but she was currently in surgery so I had to wait. Fair game. Luckily it was only another half hour or so. The surgeon said it went really well, and that I have to go back in 5 days (Feb 2nd) for her to check the incision and then put on my permanent cast. She then gave us the go-ahead to leave, and so I got loaded into the back seat of the Honda CRV with Amy driving, and mom driving Kevin home following behind us. After a quick stop at Dairy Queen so that I could eat something for the first time in 18 hours, we drove home on increasingly snowy roads (as we are having a snow storm right now.) I basically just passed out and slept in the back seat the whole way.

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Hunger: none

Body Image: Who cares? No me today.

General disposition: tired.

Song of the day: Don't Talk by Tegan and Sara

Eff you, 260s!

Current Weight: 259.8 lbs (HELL YES!)
Lost This Week: 2.0 lbs

I FINALLY made it in to the gym, after being sick with swine flu for a bloody week. I feel amazing after getting in a good workout. It is crazy how much I missed it this past week and it has made me acutely aware of how much I'm going to miss it while I am lamed up from my surgery. Having to wait that long to weigh in had a lovely side effect though -- I got to see a big loss with a new milestone! Yes, I am finally in the 250s! Fregging fantastic, that is what that is especially after after having a really lame 4 weeks earlier where I hardly lost any! I may not reach my goal of 15lbs lost before my surgery (which is in 3 days) but at least it looks very likely that I am going to cross the 50lb mark by then! About my weigh in.. I actually am weighed in as 259lbs even right now but since my normal weigh-in day is thursday I'm going to assume that I probably weighed closer to 259.8 on thursday. That would still make a 2lb loss, which is great. Unfortunately my daily point allowance didn't recalculate to lower number, despite being in a new weight 'decade'. Surprising how much that is annoying me. LOL

Now, here is my remaining problem -- I am busy the next two evenings (Tegan and Sara concert tomorrow night, massage Wednesday night) which means probably no gym either of those nights. They are my last opportunities to get to the gym before my surgery so I am considering going in in the morning tomorrow and wednesday. Ugh. Obviously getting up at an ungodly hour to go to the gym before work isn't something that interests me overly. However, these last couple days are all I have left to be able to go to the gym for a long time and I think that maybe I'll regret it if I don't. We'll see though.

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Hunger: I'm not
Body Image: pretty good!
General disposition: excited
Song of the day: Blue Monday '88 by New Order

Mediocre weigh-in | message board purgatory

Current Weight: 261.8 lbs
Lost This Week: 1.6 lbs

So despite killing it at the gym I only lost 1.6 lbs. Good, but not as much as I would have liked. I have only lost just a little over 3lbs over the past 4 weeks, which I think is the worst 4 weeks I've had yet on WW. It has, however, brought me past the 45lbs lost threshold, so that's good. I just hope that next week I lose at least 2lbs. I would love to be in the 250s before my surgery and time is running out.


In other news, I feel like there is no place I belong anymore on the weight watchers message boards. I used to frequent the 100lbs to lose board but I don't really belong there anymore, and not just because I don't have 100lbs to lose anymore. Mentally and physically I am in such a different place than most of them. I'm happy, for one, and lately that seems like it puts me in the minority. Also, I enjoy exercise and spend over an hour at the gym 5 days a week which sets me far apart from the people declaring a goal of 20 minutes of walking four times a week. I'm NOT saying that their goals are unworthy or admirable, nor am I say that their concerns and worries aren't founded. I used to be exactly like these people (for the most part) so I know what it is like. But that isn't me at all anymore, so while I can relate to them I feel like they can't relate to me. I don't feel comfortable posting about my issues, my thoughts, my perspectives simply because I am coming from some place so different.

The other board I could be inclined to be more active on is the 20 year old board but I have the complete opposite problem there. Most of the people there have 20-30lbs to loose, currently weigh less than my goal weight, and are far and beyond where I am. Plus, I sincerely feel paranoid that people on that board judge those of us with 300s and 200s in our stats. The couple of posts I have made have earned me a couple positive, helpful replies but there are always the slightly acid, backhanded ones as well. Recently I posted a question regard to my activity points and whether it is a good idea to have 40+ AP left over at the end of the week, and I received very few actual answers and a bunch more of "How could you ever earn 50 AP in a week!?" I'm sure not all of them meant it as rudely/hurtful as I initially took it. I mean, yes, I am obese, but I'm active as hell. Five days a week I do 45 minutes of high intensity (based on my heart rate) on the elliptical and 20+ minutes of strength training. I average over a pound of loss after each workout from sweating so much. These are not half-assed workouts. At my weight, that calculates to about 12AP each workout. I work extremely hard, harder than a whole lot of people that are a lot smaller than me.

Anyway, my point was that I am in message board purgatory. I belong no where and don't feel like I have a real shared perspective with people (which is much less tragic that it reads! LOL).

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Hunger: I have been starving for a week!
Body Image: mediocre
General disposition: preoccupied with my hunger, but alright
Song of the day: I Don't Wanna Wait  by Holly Cole (I think)

What. The. Hell.

Current Weight: 263.4 lbs
Lost This Week: 0.6 lbs

How in the name of all things holy is this even possible?! Last weekend Tiff and I totally went crazy and ate like frat boys. I ate, over a 4 day period, a truly disgusting amount of food - a whole 12inch stuffed crust pizza to myself, McDonald's breakfast, half a key lime pie, a 40 of rum, half a pan of Nanaimo bars.... and yet I still lost weight. It might catch up to me next week but all the Christmas eating didn't... anyway, I'm shocked. I'm back to eating like a human being and getting in some really awesome workouts at the gym, so I'm getting my body back to its normal healthy state and habits.

Last weekend was fun but it was the last time in a long time that I'll do that. Time to lock things down since I only have 3 weeks left until my surgery.

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Hunger: very high
Body Image: not super, but fine
General disposition: incredulous
Song of the day: Silver, Blue and Gold by Bad Company

New Years Eve and the new year looks great.

Current Weight: 264.0 lbs
Lost This Week: 1.0 lbs

First, I couldn't actually weigh in tonight because the gym is closed but I did weigh in last night and I was at 263.8lbs so in the name of "weight changes from day to day" I am putting it in as 264lbs, giving me a one pound loss. Not too bad considering it was the week with Christmas eve and Christmas day binges. So I'm happy to have lost over Christmas.

Secondly, it's New Years Eve! I'd say this past year has been a successful one, I've really been getting my life on track and I'm feel better than I have in years. Weight Watchers is certainly one of the most positive changes I've made in my life. I've also pushed myself even harder at the gym, made huge leaps in my fitness. There have been bad points in the year too, primarily the chronic issues with my foot and the surgery to correct them being cancelled. The surgery is happening in January so at least it will finally be done. But really, this year has been fantastic.

I am going to do something I have never done -- I am going to make some goals to achieve for the year. Nothing crazy or uncontrollable, but things that I believe I can achieve and should focus on.

• I want to have my foot surgery, have it repaired and finally have that behind me. Being able to do the workout that I feel I can do and want to do but not be able to because of the torn ligament in my foot and the pain it causes.... well, it is frustrating. So I eager to have it behind me. 
• I want to have lost 50 pounds by this time next year. I think that if I wasn't having my foot surgery that number would actually be too low a goal, but my weight loss is largely due to how active I am. After the surgery my gym time is going to take a major major hit, and even once the cast comes off I'm going  to be quite lame so that's going to slow things down a lot for quite a while. So I think 50lbs is doable considering the constraints.
•  I want to start running on the treadmill. Right now I can't due to my foot and the pain that sort of impact causes it, but I have been thinking for a while now that it is an activity I think I would really enjoy. So once my foot is healed, the cast is off, I've been able to go back to the gym for a little while and if a physiotherapist/doctor gives me the go-ahead, I really think I'd like to give running a shot. 

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Hunger: moderate, but I'm waiting for Tiff to arrive before I eat
Body Image: pretty good!
General disposition: pumped
Song of the day: Feelin' Good by Nina Simone

Christmas Goal Achieved... now all I have to do is survive Christmas

Current Weight: 265.0 lbs
Lost This Week: 2.8 lbs

Awesome loss this week! Okay, so it is a little too much, and this is my second greater-than-two-pounds loss week in a row, but hell yeah! I am now at 265lbs and that feels awesome. I reached my Christmas goal a week early, which is fantastic. I was wondering if it was a bit of a lofty goal, but clearly not. This also brings me to a little over 10lbs to lose before my surgery and that is feeling very doable. I have 6 weeks, after all, and even with the Christmas break I think that is reachable.

Speaking of going, I am heading home for the holidays on Saturday. Most of my relatives haven't seen me in months, some not since the summer before I joined Weight Watchers. I've lost almost 45lbs in that time and gained an enormous amount of muscle (so it looks like I have lost more than 45lbs), and while most people know I've been losing weight, it is one thing to hear it and something entirely different to see it. In a shallow way, I am excited to see people's reactions. What I really would like is at least one exclamation of "Holy Shit!" when they see me. Ha ha ha! I also hope to keep losing over Christmas holidays, or at the very least stay the same. I actually feel like I can probably keep losing. I'm not going to drive myself nuts by it, but I am going to do my best. Weighing myself while home is going to be a bit touchy since my parents' scale is ancient and not very accurate, but at least it will give me a ballpark.


It also just occurred to my that I am only 8 pounds away from hitting the 50lbs mark. Holy hell. I'm so amazed and impressed at how well Weight Watchers works and how easy it is to follow. It truly is no effort  at all anymore for me and I am getting amazing results. This really is just something that works if you want it to. I'm so glad I gave it a shot. :)

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Hunger: moderate
Body Image: kick ass!
General disposition: Proud and excited... and Christmasy
Song of the day: What Christmas Means To Me by Hanson

FOURTY POUNDS LOST! WHEEEE!

Current Weight: 267.8 lbs
Lost This Week: 3.0 lbs

Awwwww yeah! I have officially lost 40lbs since joining Weight Watchers! HELL YES! And I'm out of the 270s!! FREG YEAH! Plus, I had a big loss this week of 3lbs, which makes up for some pretty mediocre losses lately. I feel great about this milestone. It is extremely gratifying and I feel very proud and motivated to keep going. I mean, any plan that allows me to eat a whack of brie and cured salami over the weekend and still lose 3lbs is fine by me. ha ha


The three pound loss gets me super close to my goal of 265lbs before Christmas. I have only 2.8 pounds left and 2 weeks to do it. Definitely doable. Plus my goal of losing 15 before my surgery is looking good too. 12 more pounds to lose and 7 weeks to do it in feels fairly doable. It would feel so good to be in the 250's before my surgery. So so good. So we'll see. 
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Hunger: Pretty high, but I haven't had supper yet so that is reasonable
Body Image: not bad. Not bad at all.
General disposition: Extremely accomplished
Song of the day: Celebrity Status by Marinas Trench

Who knew not having surgery would be so disruptive!

Current Weight: 270.8 lbs
Lost This Week: 0.4 lbs


So, my surgery was cancelled and has to be rescheduled. Why? The short answer is because I am too fat. The long answer is that despite my having written my weight down correctly on every form, and despite the fact that simply LOOKING at me you can tell I am overweight, I was somehow scheduled for surgery at the Oromocto hospital, when in actuality they don’t do surgery for overweight/obese people at that hospital because of the increased risk of breathing problems and complications. They do them at the Fredericton hospital where they can have two anaesthesiologists and there is an available ICU if there are complications. Now, the admitting form I filled out TWO MONTHS AGO had my weight written on it, clearly and correctly, so right there it should be been scheduled for Fredericton. And then at my pre-op last week it should have been picked up again. Hell, they should have clued in when I showed up yesterday morning, but instead they let me spend a couple hours there, and even got me to the point where I was in the freeking gown and scrubbing my foot for surgery before I was told that it was cancelled. Seriously. The anaesthesiologist and surgeon were very apologetic but irritated as well, as it is wasted time for them and apparently I am not the only person this has happened to recently. The Fredericton hospital was immediately called by the anesthesiologist to complain.

None of this is my fault, I did everything that was asked of me, went to every appointment, fulfilled every requirement, filled out every form, and was honest and accurate with all my provided information. It never should have gotten so far. If it had to be rescheduled it should have been caught at three different checkpoints. This also had the effect of costing me a whole sick day from work which I now won’t have whenever the bloody surgery actually happens, which isn’t a minor thing, not to mention the gas money and time from all the driving mom and I had to do, plus all the hassle of moving all my things BACK to Fredericton last night. I suspended my life for this, and for it not to come through is not just irritating, it is disruptive and has a lot of additional consequences. This whole thing is a massive slap in the face. Obviously I’m not telling everyone the real reason why it was cancelled as it is ridiculous and embarrassing. I've only told my family and my closest friends.

Oh, and to top all this off, I got my new surgery date and it isn't for TWO MONTHS, which means I will be in a cast for my birthday and I won't be able to go to Cuba this spring as I have been planning for over a year. Awesome. I am on the cancellation list, so if someone can't make their surgery I hopefully will be able to get it done earlier, but it isn't likely.

Anyway, I had a pretty crap weigh in this week. I had been running under the assumption that I would be recovering and not eating much so I kind of ate a lot last week, plus all the running around I had to do for the surgery meant that I didn't get to the gym much. I only lost 0.4lbs. I'm totally locking my diet down until my surgery though. My new goal is to lose 15lbs before the surgery. I have 2 months so I feel it is totally possible, and it would put me at 255lbs, which would be spectacular. So fingers crossed.

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Hunger: I'm good

Body Image: pretty good

General disposition: very very irate

Song of the day: Wild by Grand Funk Railroad

So close... so close....

Current Weight: 271.2 lbs
Lost This Week: 1.6 lbs

Crap. I really wanted to be in the 260s before my surgery (which is tuesday). I'm so close but nope. I think I may still sort of pretend that I am and not eat that extra point every day, especially since I am going to be so ragingly inactive for the next couple months. I'm not going to have my usual 30+ activity points to fall back on.

HOWEVER, I may not have gotten into the 260s I have lost almost 40 pounds since joining weight watchers, which is pretty darned good. I have good momentum, and even though I'm going to be in a cast for the next couple months I am feeling more confident that I won't gain during my recovery. I also am super thankful that I have lost that much weight and increased my fitness level as much as I have before the surgery. I think all of this is going to be so much easier because I am that much lighter.

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Hunger: Pretty high
Body Image: moderately good
General disposition: happy but frustrated
Song of the day: Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus (shut up.. it is catchy...)

35lbs down! Whahoooo!

Current Weight: 272.8 lbs
Lost This Week: 4.1 lbs

Kiiiick ass. Not only did I lose all the weight I gained last week from being in Campbellton, but I also lost an additional pound. This week's loss now brings me to just over 35lbs lost since joining WW, which I think is pretty fantastic. YAY! I still say it was totally worth it to totally go wild that week. I'm not going to hit 265lbs before my surgery (which is in 10 days) but I should be close to 270, which isn't bad, thank you very much. And again I'm still hoping just not to gain while I have my cast on. Fingers crossed.

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Hunger: moderately high
Body Image: not bad... not bad at all....
General disposition: accomplished
Song of the day: Down South Jukin' by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Definitely deserved this gain

Current Weight: 277.0 lbs
Lost This Week: GAINED 2.8 lbs

So my weekend awesomeness earned me a 2.8lb gain. I am honestly shocked it wasn't more. I was fully expecting to have at least 5lbs gain so 2.8 isn't so bad. I basically am back to where I was 2 weeks ago, back to 277lbs. I am still below my 10% and I am still down over 30lbs so I'm not too upset. I still say it was worth it.

The only issue now is that that my cravings for salt and grease are intense and I am still feeling bloaty and gross. I am trying to drink lots and lots of water and eat carefully and not give in to the cravings. I expect to be able to offset the damage soon, hopefully maybe even next week. Fingers crossed anyhow.

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Hunger: moderate
Body Image: not great. Feeling bloaty and blorpy
General disposition: tired
Song of the day:

Good weigh in but losing too fast

Current Weight: 274.2 lbs
Lost This Week: 2.7 lbs

Had a really good weigh in today, losing 2.7 lbs. Fairly unexpected as I ate over 70 points on saturday (damn you brie and alcohol!!). The thing is, in the past two weeks I have lost almost 7 lbs. That is kind of intense. I mean, sure, the week before last I was down only .2 of a pound, but 7 in the past two weeks is a little much. I don't know what more to do - I ate almost all points last week, with only a couple activity points left, so it isn't like I can eat all that much more. My workout has been a little more intense the past couple weeks, really pushing myself on the elliptical and I have really upped my strength training, so I'm thinking maybe my metabolism has ramped up.

However, the rather high losses the past two weeks means that I am a lot closer to my Christmas goal of 265lbs. I have only 9.2 pounds to go to reach that, which I at the rate I have been going may even be doable before my surgery. That would be fantastic and that is what I am shooting for but if I don't reach it, oh well. It would just be nice to be in the 260's before my surgery.

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Hunger: quite high as I am waiting for my salmon to finish cooking....
Body Image: really good
General disposition: happy
Song of the day: Dues by Grand Funk Railroad

10% and 30lbs down!

If ever there was a occasion that warranted an epic rock kick, this is it. Yes, today I reached my 10% and am officially down over 30lbs. I am effing pumped. Okay, so I lost a little too much this week (4lbs) but after last week's .2 of a pound I figure it is part last week and part this week's loss. Frankly, all I care about is that I am down below 280 and am in the 270s. This is spectacular. I feel great, I am looking great, I am really proud, and I feel sure that I will succeed.

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Hunger: Moderately high
Body Image: kick ass
General disposition: freekin' accomplished
Song of the day: Good Thing by Reel Big Fish

25 (plus some) pounds down!

Well, this week was good for weight loss, even though I was worried. I'm down 2.6 lbs this week, which puts me over the 25 pound mark since joining WW. My weight loss graph is looking so pretty and downward! LOL!

It sort of makes up for the weight I didn't lose last week. This also makes me feel a lot better about weight training. I'm visibly gaining muscle and as much as I know it is good and means my metabolism is going to kick up it is still a little frustrating knowing you're losing fat but gaining muscle weight at the same time. Anyway, the point is that I am still losing while gaining the muscle and that kicks ass. I am, however, going to try eating more of my activity points next week. I have a little concern I'm not eating quite enough.

This also means that I am a lot closer to my Christmas goal. I still hope to be at 265lbs at Christmas and now I only have 16.2 lbs left. I have 10 weeks until then so I still think it is attainable. Fingers crossed!

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Hunger: I need supper so I am pretty hungry

Body Image: moderately good

General disposition: happy

Song of the day: I'm Into Something Good by Herman's Hermits

Uninspiring Weight In

So, not much of a loss this week. Only 0.8lbs, and I frankly think that is an exaggeration. I weighed after my work out so I probably would have had a stay-the-same week if I had weighed before. This week has been so strange points wise and I feel like I should or could have lost a lot more than what I did. Why? Well...

1.  I accumulated 35 activity points but only ate 5.5 of them, so I don't think I ate enough. This may contradict other reasons to come....
2. Rather than eating all my weekly points over the weekend I spread them out over the week.
3.  I also had a heavy meal for lunch yesterday while at a work seminar. 
4. Today's lunch was heavy as well as it was the thanksgiving meal at work and it is tradition that we go. 
5. I also haven't drank nearly enough water so I feel a little bloaty and gross. 

I'd like to think that next week, when I get back to how I normally eat and spend my points, I will see a bigger loss to make up for the weight I didn't lose this week, but I am doubtful. It is thanksgiving after all, and as much as I know I won't eat myself silly like I probably would have before I still will be eating more heavily than I would like.

In a very general way, not just in my weight loss, I feel like I have lost my mojo. Hopefully it is a short term thing and I snap out of it soon. Maybe I'm just getting sick or something.

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Hunger: moderate. I have a couple points left so I may have a snack before bed.
Body Image: moderately good
General disposition: vaguely gloomy
Song of the day: Face Up by Lights