50lbs down, Surgery done

Current Weight: 258.0lbs (which brings me to 50lbs lost!)

Lost this week: -1.8lbs

So I've hit the 50lb mark. Awesome. I didn't reach my pre-surgery goal but I came close, and really crossing the 50lb mark was nice enough. Plus a bunch of people at work on wednesday commented on my weight loss, which was really nice to hear on the cusp of my surgery. 

In other news, my surgery was yesterday and went well. Arrived at the hospital at 6:30 am, but didn't go in to the operating room until 8am. We got some funny pictures beforehand to try to distract me from panic I particularly enjoy this one where Amy looks really excited and I look absolutely depressed. LOL. I actually didn't cry and hyperventilate beforehand like I have every other time. The surgery itself went well apparently. The surgeon said the damage was exactly where she thought it was and put a few plates to fuse three bones together. She said that she could see where my foot was kind of misaligned and contorted from it trying to compensate for this damage for the past two and a half years. Also, turns out there was some arthritis in my foot too. Awesome.:(

There were some problems in recovery. I was in a lot of pain when I came to and hyperventilated. They gave me morphine but apparently I don't handle morphine well. My breathing got really shallow and kept sort of stopping, which caused this alarm thing to go off and a nurse telling me to take slow deep breaths. I would, in a couple minutes my oxygen levels would come back up, the alarms would turn off, but then the minute I started falling asleep or just didn't focus on my breathing it would happen again and I would stop breathing again. The recovery that was supposed to take an hour turned in to four hours, most of which spent with a nurse sitting beside my bed to remind me to breath every couple minutes. They gave me popsicles but I kept kind of nodding off with them in my hand, almost dropping them. They didn't let me go back to where mom and amy were waiting until I didn't make the alarm go off for 10 minutes. So basically we had to wait for the morphine to wear off.

Once I finally got back with mom she told me Amy had left to get some food and pick up a few things. Mom told me about the arthritis in my foot and for some reason that was it for me and I finally cried for the first time that day. Not too much, but I have been a bit teary ever since. Anyway, we called Amy and she came back. A nurse came and gave mom my prescription for pain killers but they were total overkill so we took it but immediately decided to not get it filled. I am NOT taking Oxycontin (which is what they prescribed). It is just more than I need and I'd rather manage my pain with something less addictive. Plus, my reaction to the Morphine has made me even more wary of big league painkillers.

So after an hour and a half I was basically okay and really just wanted to leave but we hadn't been told we were allowed to even get dressed or anything. I was seriously tired so had squinty kitten eyes but everytime a nurse or someone came near amy said, 'Heads up! Look alert!" so I would open my eyes really wide to make them think I was ready to go. LOL Amy took pictures...

Mom finally just got my clothes and helped me get dressed regardless of nurse permission and then flagged down a nurse to ask when I can leave. She said even though mom and Amy had spoken to the surgery, I had to talk to her too (which I wanted to do), but she was currently in surgery so I had to wait. Fair game. Luckily it was only another half hour or so. The surgeon said it went really well, and that I have to go back in 5 days (Feb 2nd) for her to check the incision and then put on my permanent cast. She then gave us the go-ahead to leave, and so I got loaded into the back seat of the Honda CRV with Amy driving, and mom driving Kevin home following behind us. After a quick stop at Dairy Queen so that I could eat something for the first time in 18 hours, we drove home on increasingly snowy roads (as we are having a snow storm right now.) I basically just passed out and slept in the back seat the whole way.

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Hunger: none

Body Image: Who cares? No me today.

General disposition: tired.

Song of the day: Don't Talk by Tegan and Sara