It seems impossible but it is true.

Just now it struck me how much I have changed, and not in terms of my eating (which has changed tremendously as well). No, I am referring to my activity level. Not that long ago I was intensely sedentary and inactive. I had a thousand excuses for why I didn't need to move, why I couldn't do something, why it was better or more important to stay sitting on my butt. I am sincerely embarrassed when I think about it, but then I think about where I am now.... I am a completely different person now. I go to the gym most days, and I push myself really hard. I have gone from totally inactive to working out extremely hard, increasing the difficulty constantly, and pushing myself to the breaking point. The change is so dramatic that I don't think anyone who knew me back them would have ever believed it would be possible. 


Tonight was an amazing example. I had done my usual cardio workout on the elliptical and was starting into my three minute cool down when I thought to myself, "I think I can keep going...." and so I did. I did an extra ten minutes just because I didn't feel exerted enough. So now, rather than looking for excuses not to exercise, I am finding reasons to push harder and to keep going. When I finally finished I felt amazing, both physically and psychologically. I literally thought to myself how going to the gym and working out like that has become better than sex (and how that was really strange).


Anyway, I guess my point is that if I could talk to myself before all this I would tell myself that as impossible and insane as it feels, exercise can become the thing you most look forward to in your day, that the gym can become your refuge, your place to release, the source of a huge amount of positivity in your life. I don't know if past-me would have listened or believed, but it is something today-me would try very very hard to convince past-me of.


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Hunger: Moderately high
Body Image: very positive
General disposition: awed
Song of the day: Cosmic Girl by Jamiroquai