Loss and sadness

Current Weight: 245.8lbs
Lost this week: 4lbs

Thank god I got that gain from last week corrected. All week I just kept focusing how undoing that rather epic damage, and thankfully I was able to. Now I'm just aiming to get into the 230s before Canada day weekend. I'm also feeling very determined to reach my goal lately, but it isn't for a good reason. One of my cousins has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to her liver, abdomen, and ribcage. It is absolutely catastrophic and I am really really sad for her. She has three young daughters, one of whom is just a couple months old, and all she is thinking about is the effect her cancer is going to have on them. The fact that my cousin is only 39, has lived an exceptionally healthy life, always ate right and was very active, and STILL has been hit this way makes me selfishly very scared for myself. Unlike her I did everything WRONG for twenty seven years and even though I am taking care of myself now I still worry about what damage I have done... So I am focusing hard on my health now, trying to reduce my risks as much as I can.

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Hunger: high, though it is due to stress I'd say
Body Image: pretty good
General disposition: alright, all things considered
Song of the day: Bang My Head by Lena