Thursday, January 14, 2010

Mediocre weigh-in | message board purgatory

Current Weight: 261.8 lbs
Lost This Week: 1.6 lbs

So despite killing it at the gym I only lost 1.6 lbs. Good, but not as much as I would have liked. I have only lost just a little over 3lbs over the past 4 weeks, which I think is the worst 4 weeks I've had yet on WW. It has, however, brought me past the 45lbs lost threshold, so that's good. I just hope that next week I lose at least 2lbs. I would love to be in the 250s before my surgery and time is running out.


In other news, I feel like there is no place I belong anymore on the weight watchers message boards. I used to frequent the 100lbs to lose board but I don't really belong there anymore, and not just because I don't have 100lbs to lose anymore. Mentally and physically I am in such a different place than most of them. I'm happy, for one, and lately that seems like it puts me in the minority. Also, I enjoy exercise and spend over an hour at the gym 5 days a week which sets me far apart from the people declaring a goal of 20 minutes of walking four times a week. I'm NOT saying that their goals are unworthy or admirable, nor am I say that their concerns and worries aren't founded. I used to be exactly like these people (for the most part) so I know what it is like. But that isn't me at all anymore, so while I can relate to them I feel like they can't relate to me. I don't feel comfortable posting about my issues, my thoughts, my perspectives simply because I am coming from some place so different.


The other board I could be inclined to be more active on is the 20 year old board but I have the complete opposite problem there. Most of the people there have 20-30lbs to loose, currently weigh less than my goal weight, and are far and beyond where I am. Plus, I sincerely feel paranoid that people on that board judge those of us with 300s and 200s in our stats. The couple of posts I have made have earned me a couple positive, helpful replies but there are always the slightly acid, backhanded ones as well. Recently I posted a question regard to my activity points and whether it is a good idea to have 40+ AP left over at the end of the week, and I received very few actual answers and a bunch more of "How could you ever earn 50 AP in a week!?" I'm sure not all of them meant it as rudely/hurtful as I initially took it. I mean, yes, I am obese, but I'm active as hell. Five days a week I do 45 minutes of high intensity (based on my heart rate) on the elliptical and 20+ minutes of strength training. I average over a pound of loss after each workout from sweating so much. These are not half-assed workouts. At my weight, that calculates to about 12AP each workout. I work extremely hard, harder than a whole lot of people that are a lot smaller than me.

Anyway, my point was that I am in message board purgatory. I belong no where and don't feel like I have a real shared perspective with people (which is much less tragic that it reads! LOL).

------------
Hunger: I have been starving for a week!
Body Image: mediocre
General disposition: preoccupied with my hunger, but alright
Song of the day: I Don't Wanna Wait  by Holly Cole (I think)

1 comment:

♥AbbeyMaybe said...

Sweetie, don't feel uncomfortable.
Get into the groove with the GDT? Once you're into it, it's amazing. Those women are my strongest support. Come baaack.
And there are women on there with over 100 to lose who have attitudes just like yours :)
You fit in there, TRUST me.
:P


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