Measure twice, eat once

I decided to forgo the market this weekend. After eating myself ill last week (twice... *sigh*) I decided it just wasn't worth it, especially since I am going to visit Tiffany next weekend and lord knows there will be a lot of eating then. So yeah, I skipped the market and instead headed up to the mall and bought a kitchen scale so I can actually measure my portions. I also bought some measuring spoons for the same reason. I figure if I am going to put this much effort into trying to lose weight I'd best do it right. Plus, knowing the actual weight of things makes using the WW points hella easier.

I'm finding that I am actually much more comfortable being hungry than I am full. It is a vaguely embarrassing revelation to make, and maybe it has more to do with my IBS being flared up at the moment, but honestly - I feel way better being hungry and having my stomach growl and stuff than I do being full and having my stomach be churning and noisy for completely different (and painful) reasons. I suspect it is something a lot of fat people have fooled themselves into believing, that being full is more comfortable than hunger, that somehow hunger is this horrible terrifying sensation. The book I'm reading about emotional and binge eating has seriously hit on the mark on a whole lot of things I do/did, one especially is that if we aren't actually hungry before we eat we won't have the body cues to know when we are satisfied, which I am seeing is entirely different from being full. I have to straddle the line carefully because if I get too hungry than regardless of what I eat my IBS flares up and I get sick, and I also am having to monitor myself carefully to stop when I am satisfied rather than keeping going, but generally I'm adapting and reading my body cues more accurately as each day passes.

This is a very weird process. I feel like a mad scientist and the test subject all at once.

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Hunger: moderate
Body Image: my boobs look good today so good I guess
General disposition: Chipper
Song of the day: Well Respected Man by The Kinks